Two lessons about Jesus' love from two years of marriage
Self-sacrifice, being teammates, and God's care for us
Will and I celebrated two sweet years of marriage last week—a joy!
As we’ve been sharing with one another our prayerful and practical observations from our baby marriage, I’ve noticed a few huge themes that have routinely come in our marital love that color the way we understand and experience Christ’s love for us.
Long before I dated Will, I was terrified that marriage would mean the end of being romantically pursued; I think I internalized this from years of watching movies and reading books in which the romantic plot ends with the couple finally “getting together,” whether in exclusively dating or, more common with the Disney princess stories, a fast-forward to marriage.
And while I don’t think these romance stories are inherently terrible, I wish there was more media that featured younger married couples wildly and beautifully in love, because I’ve learned in my own marriage that romance only grows in depth, delight, and fun after the wedding day.
In honor of our anniversary, and as a little homage to younger-Eliza who is more healed, loved, and seen now than she could ever comprehend possible, here are two of my favorite lessons about Christ's love that I’ve learned from two years of marriage to Will:
God’s care for our hearts is in the details.
It’s in Will bringing me a simple breakfast in bed of oatmeal or cereal every single morning, because getting out of bed is easy for him and difficult for me.
It’s in my heart singing as I cook a flavorful dinner and picture how big his smile will be when he tastes the first bite, because I know how seen and cared for he feels when I make him home-cooked meals.
It’s in his memorization of my favorite flowers and careful choice of a bouquet every two weeks from a mom-and-pop corner store near our house that carries locally grown stems, because he loves seeing me grin ear-to-ear just to look at them.
It’s in every little tuck of our bed covers each morning, every swish of the vacuum, every wipe of the kitchen counter—these tiny acts of sacrifice that tell the other, “you are worthy of a home that is clean and relaxing, not because you can earn it, but just because you exist.”
Every particularity of favorite for morally neutral things we have on our hearts is authored by God: colors, aesthetics, nature, art, music, etc. I notice God’s love for me in the zinnias I planted myself below our bedroom window that He deigned to bloom, in the sunshine on our faces, in the ripples of Lowcountry creeks and Atlantic waves overlooked from Will’s sailboats.
God loves us just because we exist, and it delights His heart to delight us with His creation—just as it delights me and Will simply to delight each other.
We are more teammates with Jesus than we often realize.
Yes, Christ is King over our lives; yes, His will governs our days; yes, He is God and I am not.
At the same time, we aren’t merely puppets tossed about by the whims of a temperamental God à la ancient polytheistic deities. God gave us free will so that we could use it to choose ourselves whether to love Him fully and truly or not. Thanks to this gift, we indeed have a sense of teamwork with the Father.
In prayer were are invited to ask God what He desires us to do in a day, how to respond to certain situations, where we should go together and what we should dream about together. God isn’t a scary, far-away, up-on-a-high-horse mean boss—He is right here, dwelling with each of us, loving us just because we exist.
Similarly, marriage isn’t meant for one spouse to overlord the other, be it a “my way or the highway” husband who misunderstands Ephesians 5 or a “mommy” wife who doesn’t trust him. It’s teamwork lived in love, it’s simultaneously giving and submitting to one another’s needs and desires, it’s both spouses giving 100%. It’s together, and together, and together.
I’m so grateful for how the covenant, sacrament, and vocation of marriage illustrates Christ’s love for us. Truly, God’s will is better than our wildest dreams!
In Him,
-Eliza
PS: the book With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God has much to say on the topic of togetherness with God that is refreshing and life-giving—$7 at Thriftbooks here.
ELIZA WEARS THINGS
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This puff sleeve dress by Hill House just made its way in the mail to me last Friday, and I’m obsessed. Plus, I got it for $50 off with my CAKE membership! It’s an invite-only shopping perks program that’s loaded with gift cards from many of my favorite fashion brands, as well as private sales and event invites. Shop the blue trellis dress here, and learn more about CAKE here.
Also just landed on my doorstep: this hat by Sarah Bray Bermuda. My MIL so generously gifted me the extra-wide brim Daisy style last Christmas, which I’ve enjoyed pulling out now that it’s summertime-hot in Charleston. I’d been eying this bucket version as a lower-profile option for days I want to be more dressed down, and I’m so excited it’s finally here. All of Sarah Bray Bermuda’s hats have side grommets so you can change out the ribbons to your liking or leave plain, and this function also provides wider varieties of styling. They’re 100% natural straw and very well-made, not like anything you can get at your typical big-box stores! See SBB’s hats here.
This precious swimsuit from Target is $25 and comes in tons of other colors. I’m particular about bathing suits being both functional and fun (my pet peeve is when they have too many “extra” features on them that make them feel less practical for all the swimming and water sporting Will and I enjoy), and this fits the bill perfectly! Shop it here for $25.
I’D APPRECIATE YOUR PRAYERS FOR…
Me and Will’s marriage, that we may help each other get to heaven and be blessed to enjoy many years by each other’s side in this vocation and sacrament! God is so good, and I’m in awe of how sweetly His plans for us have been better than our wildest dreams!!