When did we become afraid of a feminine faith?
Relationship, mysticism, and why the Saints are Saints
One of me and Will’s dear friends is a seminarian. I had the privilege of serving alongside him as a missionary for my diocese a few years ago, and we retain an active group chat with the two other members from our team (who ended up marrying each other!)
The other day we were talking in our group chat about “feminine” expressions of the faith. We noticed an interesting point, which is that this label is typically applied to imaginative prayer, contemplation, and gifts of mystical visions from God, which in no way belong exclusively to women. (See Saint Ignatius of Loyola, Saint John of the Cross, Saint Bonaventure—three out of hundreds of men who were mystics.)
What our friend texted was so good, I’m including it verbatim here (yes, he really does text so formally!):
“Having enough faith and having sufficiently trained your imagination in prayer to see and live among the heavenly realities present to us is not remotely ‘silly,’ ‘feminine,’ or ‘theologically inaccurate.
“We men often get stuck in the ‘objective idea realm’ and rebel against anything that’s not define-able or scientific. Though that has a place in the Faith, it’s a small one.
“A lot of people, especially online, act like apologetics or theological accuracy is going to save the Church, which is quite hilarious. God already saved the Church and His solution was not a theological idea, but a person we could become friends with. The Church and Faith are much, much more ‘feminine’ than we are willing to admit.”
Dang.
While our friend isn’t implying this when he says the faith is more “feminine” than many want to admit, I’ve heard others speak about these “feminine” expressions of the faith as inherently less mature, less theologically developed, less authentically Catholic.
And yet, as I identified earlier, imaginative prayer and relationship with Jesus are expressions of the faith that absolutely do not inherently belong to, or are for, women alone.
How did we get here, where imaginative prayer and visual language describing relationships with Jesus and the Saints are seen as so “feminine,” and therefore undesirable and unworthy, in our contemporary day?
Two things:
Gotcha-apologetics that make us feel “right” about everything gets more views online than heartfelt discussions about prayer do
Our culture deems what is colorful, relational, and imaginative as less worthy than what is idealogical, and ties women to the former and men to the latter. And our often values men above women.
Under point 1: it feels good to know you’re “based,” and Catholicism is technically “based” because within the Church, we have the fullness of objective Truth. But when we idolize the ideas of Truth over Truth Himself, the sin of self-righteousness is at play.
There’s a huge difference between someone who is Catholic because they want to be right about everything and someone who is Catholic because they desire intimacy with Christ—the first is a viper, and the second is a saint.
Under point 2: Regardless of what Western Culture parrots at us, the Church sees, honors, and celebrates experiences of God that are relational and prayer that is imaginative.
Every single Saint is a Saint not because they had the argumentative skills needed to win apologetics debates, but because they had deep, all-consuming relationships with our Triune God.
I am deeply devoted to Saint Thérèse of Lisieux—she’s one of my top heavenly best friends. As I explained to a Protestant friend via text the other day, the Saints are “as much a friend to me as you are, except they’re dead.” (lol)
Thérèse was a French country girl who entered a convent at age 15 and died of tuberculosis at age 24 in 1897. The story goes that when her fellow nuns went to write her obituary, they struggled to come up with much to say because her life had been so quiet and unassuming.
But then they read her diary, and it was filled with profound imagery about relationships with Jesus and Mary, profound theology outlining her “little way” of loving and serving God in ordinary life, profound interior virtue lived humbly.
And then they published her diary. And then the public loved how it helped them fall further in love with Christ. And then it needed hundreds of reprints and translations. And then she was canonized three decades later, called “the star of my papacy” by Pius XI. And then Saint Pope JPII named her one of 37 Doctors of the Church, of whom four women (including her) are honored.
Thérèse is a Saint not because she stunned large audiences with sharp debate skills (though these skills are wonderful to have), but because she prayed deeply and loved well; not because her faith filed in line with masculine stereotypes, but because she let God use her as He made her to live out the Gospel.
If, like our wonderful Thérèse, your faith falls under more feminine stereotypes, take heart, friends. There is a necessary place for you in the Church. There is a you-shaped hole in Jesus’ Sacred Heart He longs for you to dwell in forever.
In Him,
-Eliza
ELIZA WEARS THINGS
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I wore this favorite Hill House dress for mass recently—the green floral and bird chinoiserie on a cloudy white background felt perfectly pastoral to me for this Easter feast. Hill House also just launched yesterday a new pink hydrangea on light blue pattern in this same dress silhouette, linked here. 100% cotton, perfectly feminine, and ultra-comfortable—as always! Shop Hill House here.
Just purchased this beauty, also from Hill House—this same bride gave me a gift card as a thank-you to me for designing her save the dates and wedding invitations, and I’m floored by her generosity! I tried this silhouette on in the HH Charleston store and loved how nicely and subtly it accentuated my waist—the smocking extends further down the bodice than the Ellie dress does. Can’t wait to wear this blue trellis pattern anytime it’s warm enough outside! Shop the dress here.
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I’D APPRECIATE YOUR PRAYERS FOR…
Those who feel isolated from the Catholic Church because they appear “too different” from Catholic personality stereotypes. May they come to see and believe that God loves them just because they exist.